But everybody wants to be the one just climbing out...

I defy you to listen to this and not love it...

I've been working on a cocktail called Grounds for...Demolition?

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I've mentioned before how much I love listening to Danny Baker on the radio. Imagine my delight when, a few months back, I discovered he was back on Radio 5 Live of a Saturday morning with a typical blend of quizzes, phone-ins, random guests and the occasional mention of football.

One of the current features (all of which are eligible for comment by listeners, regardless of how long they've been running or indeed any other new features which may have been introduced that day) is the saving of football grounds from Danny's Totalitarian State Wrecking Ball. Mr. Baker's theory is that we have too many football grounds in the UK and that 20 would, as the road safety folk say, be plenty.

The upshot of this is that listeners can call in and try to save the ground of their choice - when 20 are saved, the rest cease to exist! Many grounds have fallen already, some big names like Anfield and Goodison are no more whilst some of the "wee teams" from North of the Border (Brechin's Glebe Park, Alloa's Recreation Ground) have staved off extinction through the cleverness of their supporters. Intriguingly, any purely football related suggestions (cup finals being played there, Pele or George Best once graced the turf, etc, etc) are liable to immediate anhilation due to lack of colour! Eccentricity triumphs in Danny's Brave New World.

So it was that after many weeks of searching the web to ensure that my memory hadn't failed me, I was able to call in to save Partick Thistle's Firhill Stadium. Eccentric? You bet.

Why should we save it then? asked Danny. Let me tell you...

Some years ago, we had a brilliant management team of the great John Lambie and his assistant Gerry Collins. Many, many colourful tales emerged from the John and Gerry era - a concussed striker led Gerry to tell the boss "Gaffer, he doesnae know who he is!" "Well tell him he's Pele and get him back on the park!" - some possibly (!) apocryphal but the one I thought I remembered definitely happened. Here's the Sunday Herald's version of events:

Banned from the touchline, Collins appeared at a subsequent match standing, complete with hard hat, in the building site that was to become the Jackie Husband stand. His voluble contributions and throwing the hard hat into the air when Thistle scored attracted the attention of the referee. Collins produced his letter from the SFA and argued that the ban did not extend to the terracing. He had eventually to succumb to the rule of law but had shown his mettle.

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Not only did Gerry attract the attention of the ref, he was also spotted by the crowd. I don't think we helped his bid for anonymity by chanting his name!

This seemed to please Danny and his team and I was fairly certain it was job done but I was thrown a bit of a curveball. Mein Host asked me for a "generic" reason to save Firhill, what feature does it have that would make other supporters say "at least that still survives at Partick Thistle"?

Who'd have thought that dangerous, condemnable wooden seating in a 100year old main stand would ever come in so handy? Phew. Call off them wreckers!

Related articles by Zemanta

• 'I'm sensitive to being sat on' (guardian.co.uk)
• Gerry Britton set to quit Partick Thistle to become a lawyer (telegraph.co.uk)

...but the fire is so delightful...

Wow and indeed wee. Nevis Range looking fairly spectacular in an Alpine stylee from the Farm Shop at Torlundy.

Road chaos appears to have hit the country though meaning that although there's any amounts of snow over the other side of the country at Glenshee the road is, as ever, closed rendering it impossible to reach the slopes. Don't you just love this country?

You said "Be there or be square"

The marvellous Idlewild play a cheeky wee acoustic version of City Hall from their excellent new album, Post Electric Blues. Just thought I'd share...

The Fly - Idlewild 'City Hall' FlyTV In The Courtyard on MUZU.

Quick edit: I left the video playing and a brilliant version of Little Discourage came on afterwards. Well worth watching...

I swear I saw this...

Sidewalk Instructions

Spotted on a lower East Side (I think) sidewalk on a recent visit to NYC. A sense of humour is always a good thing, no matter where one finds oneself. I'm not sure how funny I'd find it, however, if I was a sufferer of the following complaint, bearing in mind this is merely the subway station version of the ad - on the way into Manhattan from JFK we saw this ad blown up to building size! Them's some big ol' piles...

...or are you just pleased to see me?

A recent trip to NYC showed just how all those travel writers come across their seemingly implausible tales of encounters with 'colourful' locals which add that oft needed human interest element to the traveller's tale...

A shopping excursion - a must in the Big Apple - took me to the Empire State Building in search of a modelling kit of the eponymous Manhattan landmark. In these security conscious times, no chances were being taken and entry to the skyscraper's gift shop could only be gained after passing through an airport-style security check, complete with walk-through scanner and baggage x-ray.

With nothing to hide I removed my coat and put it in the tray for scanning. Cue 'colourful encounter'

Security Lady: excuse me sir but do you have like a package in your jacket?
Me: There's a guidebook in one pocket...
SL: (not bothering to check the vefacity of my claim)Oh, okay. What about the other pocket? A brick or something?
Me: Er, my glasses case is there, it's quite bulky.
SL: (still not checking) Oh, okay, no problem. On you go.
Security Man: (classic 'Noo Yoik' accent) A brick? A f###in' brick? You kiddin' me?
SL: Well you never know what people are collecting these days...

Ach just stick it through as two slices of toast...

Okay okay. Our own fault I know for going to Asda in Clydebank but come on..."we never usually sell any cereal" hence they didn't know where to find milk for it. Or how to put it through the till.

The pack is still well within date too, which mean that they obviously have thrown out all the other packs they've had in the cafe which has been open for over a decade now.

Full-on fry up instead, anyone?