Breakfast of champions...

So. For no good reason I was singing away to myself in the shower this morning, it was "Honey Be Good" by The Bible, erstwhile home to singer-songwriter genius, Boo Hewerdine.

It's a fantastic song but I've not heard it in an age so I've no idea why it popped into my head. However, there's always a however, it got me thinking...

Never a good idea.

Inspired by "Get It On" on BBC Radio Scotland, I decided that Honey Be Good would be ideal in a "breakfast" themed show. What else, I wondered to myself, might make it onto the playlist? The shower's never the best place to start writing lists so I had to wait until I came out to write them all down.

Obviously I'd start with Suzanne Vega's Tom's Diner just to set the scene, then maybe Breakfast by Eugenius. I could stick Breakfast at Tiffany's by Deep Blue Something in there too. Obviously no good breakfast is complete without Orange Juice, so maybe Rip it Up followed by You're So Vain by Carly Simon, for the "clouds in my coffee" - appropriately enough featuring Sir Mick of Jagger on backing vocals, so we're alright for a little Brown Sugar with our caffeine rush. Oh, and not forgetting The Milkman of Human Kindness from Billy Bragg to pour in too.

At this point the seasoned breakfaster is looking to move up to something a little more substantial. Perhaps a Sally Cinammon-danish courtesy of The Stone Roses or even something from Pastry Cline. Apologies. Maybe anything by Muesli Elliot? Again, sorry.

A lighter option, of course is to head towards the Beastie Boys' Yo-gurt! Bum Rush The Show topped off with something from Lemon Jelly. Tori Amos' Cornflake Girl or perhaps something from Oat-is Redding or Po-rage Argainst the Machine could help pile on the carbs.

If you're still hungry, of course, there's always Sugar Puff Daddy or Damien Rice Krispies, whilst those of you looking for a cooked breakfast could do worse than Smokey Bacon Robinson & The Miracles or something from the Eagles, maybe one of Glen Frey-up's compositions

Echo Beach by Martha and the Muffins or Paul Young and his Little Bit of Toast might go well with anything by the Jam or Marmalade...washed down with a mug of Hot Chocolate.

You might want to finish off by paying compliments to the chef on the way out...Sam Cooke.

Bella cucina!

Is this what's meant by fusion cuisine? Umbria meets Uddingston in a classic cappuccino-caramel log coalition. Tasty.

Strawberry yields for breakfast...

Our first crop from the ten or so plants in the bed. The slugs have had a wee go at one or two of the precious rubies but overall they're a healthy bunch with a great smell. The fruits, not the slimy slugs...

Looking forward to this lot with some waffles, yoghurt and a cappuccino.

Pretentious? Mais oui...

Coffee chain capu-tulates...

Ouch. That was bad. So, it seems that in spite of yesterday's news on the benefits of an espresso or two, coffee can't make businesses forget the global economic downturn.

In the self-same newspaper which announced the "arabica annhilates Alzheimer's" story, we have the news that Coffee Republic has hit the skids.

The Independent's David Prosser likens the reluctance of consumers to wean themselves away from the daily mocha to being similar to the way in which, no matter the economic conditions, lipstick always keeps up its sales. Hardly a great analogy methinks, lipstick not generally being bought by more than 50% of the population. Though I appreciate the point he was making.

Particularly interesting for me was the fact that, having obviously mssed this story in yesterday's Guardian, I was alerted to it by the biting satire of The Daily Mash,

'Julian Cook, a 32 yea old ba***rd from Camden said

"I'll soon be forced to sit on a park bench with a flask of Maxwell House

and angle my laptop in just the right way so that people can see

what I'm doing."

Are they seriously suggesting people could get precious about coffee? Who would do such a thing...

I'd forgotten how good it tastes...

Good news for latte lovers, cappuccino cravers and mocha maniacs in today's Guardian.

Apparently a shot of arabica and a daily dash of robusta can do wonders in halting the symptoms of Alzheimer's. There was more to it than that but I've only had tea so far today and I can't quite recall the details...*

*Yes, I know that's a bit sick but one can't allow such obvious gags to be passed up. I take comfort in what was one of the late great Rikki Fulton's finest routines on the self same subject. The great man later passed away suffering with that terrible illness and many of those who knew him said at the time that he'd have appreciated the irony.

Man cannot live on cake alone...

A latte is often required too. A visit today to the excellent Pottery Cafe at Laggan. Their own literature says all there is to be said...

Any chance of a bacon roll?

Apparently not but what a welcome sight. Pouring down in Stirling. Too early through Callander. Beanscene to the rescue. Coffee and a chocolate croissant. Ahh.

I did go for the early morning stove/coffee thing in the end...

Every early morning, just to wake up and put coffee on the stove...*

Ok, a pot of tea then.

Woke up early today, no alarm, unassisted by girning children. How pleasant. Still under the duvet I thought to catch the shipping forecast at 5.54 but it must only be on long wave...no matter, an excellent feature followed the six o'clock news. A programme of the type only the BBC can do well, 'Open Country' all about the Snowdon mountain railway, complete with presenter's mic background sound effects of clanking wheels, noisy workmen and rain lashing the carriage windows.

The feature was ostensibly about the struggle to build a new visitor centre at the summit to replace what Prince Charles called 'the highest slum in Wales'...what does he know about slums...or Wales?

It was a lovely, soothing piece which had the strange and for me hitherto unknown effect of making me want to visit Wales. Well, the mountain railway at any rate. The construction director rather touchingly referred to the previous building - buried in stone to help it blend in - as 'like a war bunker meets Macchu Picchu'...I'm sold!

Aztecs...lovely, isn't it?

This audio delight was followed at 6.30 by Radio Scotland's excellent Out Of Doors, another 'out and about' programme. Today's offering began with a trip to the whisky Mecca that is Islay to see the rebirth of the 'farm distillery'.

Such descriptive language has always been the preserve of the Beeb's factual radio output but nonetheless, it's always heartening to hear phrases like 'phenolic qualities' and 'magnificent esters' before 7am. The Kilchomain (and yes, I'll check that spelling later) farm distillery hopes to produce an 'expression' - which seems to be the malt whisky equivalent of a wine vintage - with 100% local barley, so local in fact as to come from the field opposite the still shed. That, we were told will be seriously rare stuff, for the collectors' market. The regular stuff - still super rare - will be a 25-75% mix, the larger share still impressively local, keeping the carbon welly-print down by coming from just the other side of the island.

The whole process seems cyclical, organic and inherently sensible - 'waste' products and by-products of the distilling process being used bsck on the farm as either feed or fertiliser.

The 'water of life' providing enjoyment for the drinker, sustenance for the beasts, nourishment to the land and an income for the locals...as it once was, so it ever shall be.

* Roddy Woomble - "Every line of a long moment"

Coffee? Don't mind if I do...

Ah, a winter warmer at the Lochaber rural complex farm shop. Just what the doctor ordered.

Taking time out from the shopping...

Christmas is...a capuccino and some gingerbread christmas trees. Nice.

And relax...

This, now this, is nice...

Sitting down at the kitchen table witha cup of fresh coffee, a warm (home made!) mince pie or two, the fire finally roaring and Tom Morton on the radio.

Yuletide Felicitations!

"Unless you can find some sort of loyalty you cannot find unity and peace in your active living"

You have to laugh. Well, I had to at any rate.

I was making a wee ferry journey last week on one of the Calmac routes. As is my want, I purchased a hot beverage. "Have ye got one o' these?" asked the chap behind the counter.

Buy 7 get the 8th free urged the Loyalty Card. A great concept, perhaps, on the high street but where, I wondered, could I go onboard ship to be disloyal? The Starbuck's stand on the Starboard side or the Costa concession on the car desk?

The mind boggles.

Poetry in motion

I'm just back from a poetry workshop. No, really. I must confess to feeling a bit like Mike Myers doing his "beat poet" bit in So I Married An Axe Murderer (well worth watching this clip by the way...)

We were asked to come up with a wee poem following a series of prompts from the workshop leader - herself a published poet. Ironically, the event was organised by the John Muir Trust, who (which?) are (is?) all about the outdoors and 'wild places.' Appropriate, then, that I chose to do mine about a coffee shop in the west end of Glasgow.

Tinderbox

Spring. Summer.
Could be.
Could not.

A scooter in the window.
Car on the road.

Heavy glass.
Hard wood.
Struggle as I
Push the symmetry.
Breaking the symmetry
Opening just one door.

Burbling, brewing.
Foaming, frothing.
A-ra-bi-ca.
Ro-bus-ta.

Who used these words before?
Who knew these words before?
Barista.
But not a lawyer.
Illegal use of the word?

Post lunch.
Pre dinner.
Teenage Fanclub.
A mobile.
Another mobile.

Hot milk.
Warm bread.
Panini?
Panino, surely.
I only wanted the one.