Why has it not been designed with FUN in mind?

Mr White (suit)

Just purchased these fill-ums (that's how you're allowed to pronounce it when you're from Glasgow) from Borders for a bargain basement 4.99. In actual fact I've just got to the till and there's another quid off Reservoir Dogs.

Now, I'm not suggesting there's any link between these films. I bought the Alec Guinness 'classic' (I put the punctuation in because it says classic on the box but I've not seen it yet so I feel underqualified to comment) purely on a whim.

I've heard of The Man In The White Suit of course and, as much as he always protested that hehated the film and being associated with it, I've always had great affection for Mr. Guinness since he played Obi Wan Kenobi in the original - and best - Star Wars fill-um, but (I was talking about a link) what struck me as I sat looking at the cases over a rubbish, lukewarm, overpriced latte in the in-store Starbucks was that the covers are almost photo negatives of each other.

I didn't say it was an interesting thought. What might be interesting though would be to see gangsters carrying out heists and honour killings whilst wearing white suits. That would just seem all wrong wouldn't it? Less Martin Scorcese, more Marty Hopkirk.

Bella Bella

Could any other newspaper do a graphic so well? Would they even try? I think that's just lovely, and very clever...

Looking forward immensely to collecting the Guardian and Observer's learn Italian series this weekend.

I've been gathering up the Spanish set this week but haven't made a start yet. I'm sure it's subconsciously due to the fact that I identify more with the Italians, in so much as I love coffee, pizza and Vespas...

Like John Gordon Sinclair in Gregory's Girl, "I've always wanted to learn..."

Ciao.

Get in there!

Success on the Guardian's Quick Crossword today. Six minutes too. 'Imperil' is my favourite of today's words.

Coffee chain capu-tulates...

Ouch. That was bad. So, it seems that in spite of yesterday's news on the benefits of an espresso or two, coffee can't make businesses forget the global economic downturn.

In the self-same newspaper which announced the "arabica annhilates Alzheimer's" story, we have the news that Coffee Republic has hit the skids.

The Independent's David Prosser likens the reluctance of consumers to wean themselves away from the daily mocha to being similar to the way in which, no matter the economic conditions, lipstick always keeps up its sales. Hardly a great analogy methinks, lipstick not generally being bought by more than 50% of the population. Though I appreciate the point he was making.

Particularly interesting for me was the fact that, having obviously mssed this story in yesterday's Guardian, I was alerted to it by the biting satire of The Daily Mash,

'Julian Cook, a 32 yea old ba***rd from Camden said

"I'll soon be forced to sit on a park bench with a flask of Maxwell House

and angle my laptop in just the right way so that people can see

what I'm doing."

Are they seriously suggesting people could get precious about coffee? Who would do such a thing...

"This area is protected by Cig-Arret"

Clever. Very clever. But wrong. There's no 'anti smoke' alarm here or if there is it doesn't work.

Smoking? Outside a hospital? As the Americans might say if they were in a teen movie or Beverly Hills 90210,'ee-yew' It's really not on.

I once worked at hospital radio in Edinburgh and we'd go on ward visits where we'd find groups of puffing patients in their dressing gowns huddled in smoke-wreathed clusters at the entrance to the building housing the - and I'm sure you're ahead of me here - cancer wards. I shall say no more.

I'd forgotten how good it tastes...

Good news for latte lovers, cappuccino cravers and mocha maniacs in today's Guardian.

Apparently a shot of arabica and a daily dash of robusta can do wonders in halting the symptoms of Alzheimer's. There was more to it than that but I've only had tea so far today and I can't quite recall the details...*

*Yes, I know that's a bit sick but one can't allow such obvious gags to be passed up. I take comfort in what was one of the late great Rikki Fulton's finest routines on the self same subject. The great man later passed away suffering with that terrible illness and many of those who knew him said at the time that he'd have appreciated the irony.